


Prayers from Purgatory

by fangirlingtodeath513



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Purgatory Fic, Purgatory coda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 00:28:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8599858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlingtodeath513/pseuds/fangirlingtodeath513
Summary: So, um........... I don't know how this happened. I just wanted to write because there wasn't enough Purgatory for me and it's my favorite Supernatural storyline and I wanted to hear what Dean prayed to Cas and it just got WAY out of hand. So... here, have some Destiel in Purgatory. Sorry. But like... Not really.





	

**_Day 1_ **

 

_Cas, I… I don’t know where you went. I know we got jumped and then you disappeared. Look man… I’m not mad at you. I swear. Just come back. I’ve put a ton of these things here and now’s their chance for revenge, I could use some backup. I don’t even know if you can hear me, but… Come back, Cas. Please._

 

He cuts his prayer off abruptly when he hears a twig snap, spinning to face the direction the noise is coming from. His eyes dart around the immediate area, looking for something, _anything_ he can use as a weapon. When he comes up blank, he sighs and steels himself, turning away from the noise slowly and sneaking away as quietly as he can.

 

**_Day 2_ **

 

_Cas, I don’t know if you’re just ignoring me, or if you can’t hear me, or if you’re in danger, or…_

 

He cuts that thought off quickly, swallowing and glancing around quickly, letting his eyes flutter closed again when he doesn’t hear anything.

 

_Cas, please. Please hear me. I need you to come back. There’s monsters everywhere, if you don’t come back… Please, Cas. I need you to be okay, I need you to come back._

 

He opens his eyes and glances around, waiting for a few minutes. He sighs quietly when he doesn’t hear the telltale flutter of wings after a long while. He shoves himself to his feet, running a hand through his hair and listening carefully, finding somewhere to hide for the night.

 

**_Day 3_ **

 

_Castiel, wherever you are… Come back. Please. I know you didn’t want to fight in the first place and I’m sorry, but… Please, Cas. I really need your help. I’m taking it on all sides here, I can’t fight them all at once._

 

He doesn’t even bother giving the prayer an ending this time, jogging off quickly when he hears movement. He stays as hidden and quiet as humanly possible, holding his breath when he hears movement on the other side of the bush he’s behind. He keeps himself from jumping when the monster speaks suddenly.

 

“They said there was a human here. No one believed them, of course. But God, when you get close, all you smell like is _fear_ , and blood, and flesh, and _life_.” Dean squeezes his eyes shut, taking a deep breath and lunging at the werewolf, knocking the blade out of its hand. He grabs it quickly, scrambling to his feet and chopping the mutts head off quickly. He turns and walks on, breathing heavily, the double dose of fear and adrenaline working through his system.

 

**_Day 10_ **

 

_I’m pretty sure you can’t hear me. I don’t know why I keep praying to you. I got a blade, so I can manage a little better. I still wish you’d come back, this would be way easier if I had someone watching my back._

 

He sighs when he hears a noise, turning and slicing a vamps neck off before he can even get his teeth out. He grips the blade tighter, waiting for a few minutes with the fleeting hope of hearing wings, jaw clenching after a while. He steels himself with the realization that Cas isn’t coming and walks on, staying as quiet as he can.

 

~                      ~                      ~

He keeps praying to Cas unconsciously, when he lets his mind wander. A hundred days in, he realizes he keeps doing it because thoughts of Cas relax him. A hundred and seventy days in, he realizes he doesn’t just _need_ Cas, he _wants_ Cas.

 

**_Day two hundred and three_ **

 

He realizes he’s let the feelings he’s been shoving down for years bubble up and intensify. He realizes he’s in love with Castiel. The thought stops him in his tracks and he hears the telltale rustle of leaves that signals a monster nearby. A twisted grin spreads across his face slowly and he grips his knife tighter, turning and finding the source of the noise. His body kicks into gear and he tracks the monster for a while before he’s able to corner it and back it against a tree, its teeth sharp and dangerously close to his skin.

 

“Take a breath. Calm down.” He watches the vamps teeth recede, pressing the sharp edge of his blade against the monster’s throat. “Where’s the angel?” The vamp chuckles, though visibly shaken. The vamp has the audacity to smirk at him, and Dean can barely suppress an eye roll.

 

“You’re him. The human.” He shoves the vamp against the trunk harder, forcing back a snarl.

 

“Where’s the angel?”

 

“I don’t know.” Dean nods slightly, watching the monster for a moment before pulling his arm back and plunging the blade into the vamp’s arm, just below his elbow, effectively pinning him to the tree. He chuckles, stooping and grabbing the makeshift blade the monster dropped, turning and chopping its head off. He stands and watched the head and body fall to the ground, turning when he hears a shout. He’s not fast enough to react, and a vamp a bit larger than him takes him down. He groans inwardly, putting his arm up to keep the vamp’s teeth away from him, scrambling to grab the blade that’d been knocked out of his hand. Before he can reach it, the vamp is tackled off him by a larger monster, who Dean quickly realizes is another vamp. The new vamp bares his teeth and quickly chops the other’s head off. Dean scrambles for his blade, pushing himself to his feet and gripping the handle tightly, watching the new vamp warily. The vamp lets his teeth recede, chuckling softly to himself.

 

“What? No thanks for saving your hide?” The vamp drawls, turning to look at Dean. Dean brings the blade up in front of his chest, gripping it tighter.

“Sure. I won’t shove this up your ass.” The vampire smirks at him, circling him slowly. Dean is quick to match his movements, his body tensing up.

 

“Awful strange way to punch your meal ticket, friend.” The vamp leers at him, circling him a bit slower. “I got something you need.” For the second time in the last hour, he barely suppresses an eye roll.

 

“Yeah, what’s that?” He doesn’t know why he bothers indulging the vamp, a thought flitting through his mind that maybe the vampire has information about Cas. He steels himself quickly, pushing Cas from his mind. The vampire smiles at him, a smile that makes Dean’s skin crawl.

 

“A way out.” Dean chuckles, shaking his head a bit.

 

“Even a dental apocalypse like you knows there’s no such thing.”

 

“There is if you’re human. God has made it so. At least, that’s the rumor.” Dean grits his teeth.

 

“Bull.” The vamp shrugs, smirking.

 

“Suit yourself. Maybe you’ve gone native. _Maybe_ you like being man meat for every Tom, Dick, and Harry.” The vamp chuckles at himself and stops walking, turning to face Dean entirely.

 

“Prove it.”  The vamp chuckles.

 

“Nah. You’re either in or you’re out.” Dean sighs softly, gripping the blade tighter.

 

“So you just want to guide me out of Purgatory out of the goodness of your undead heart?”

 

“More or less.” Dean chuckles to himself. He should’ve seen this coming.

 

“What’s in it for you?” The vamp sneers at him.

 

“I’m hopping a ride.”

 

“What?”

 

“It’s a human portal, jackass. Only humans can pass through. I show you the door, you hump my soul to the other side.”

 

“So you’re looking for a soul train.” He chuckles to himself. Gotta laugh at something before he starts going crazy in here.

 

“Sure. If that’s what you’re into.”

 

“And how do I know this isn’t a set-up? How do I know I ain’t gonna end up like your friend over there?” The burly vampire smirks at him.

 

“He was my friend. Now _you_ are. First rule of Purgatory, kid. You can’t trust nobody.” Dean almost laughs at the irony. Almost.

 

“You just asked me to trust you.”

 

“You see? You’re gettin it now.” He chuckles half-heartedly.

 

“First we find the angel.” The vampire sucks in a breath, letting out a low whistle.

 

“Three’s a crowd, chief.” Dean smirks.

 

“Well, hey. Either you’re in or you’re out.” He lets the blade rest on his shoulder, smirking at the vampire, who looks none too pleased to have his words used against him. He watches the vamps lips curl into a grin.

 

~                            ~                                  ~

**_Day three hundred_ **

****

_I love you, Cas. Please come back._

 

**_Day three hundred and eight_ **

****

He spins slowly in place, listening for any slight rustle of leaves or a quiet snap of a twig. Benny walks over to him, the burly man letting out a quiet sigh.

 

“I don’t think he knows, man.” Dean stares at the rugaru they’ve bound to the tree, stepping toward him and resting the blade against the side of his neck.

 

“Oh, he knows.” He looks the rugaru over slowly, narrowing his eyes. “Where’s the angel?” He sighs when the monster just stares at him, pressing his knife to the monster’s chest. “You feel that?” The monster shakes, taking a few deep breaths and turns to meet Dean’s eyes.

 

“There’s a stream.” He presses the blade to the monster’s throat.

 

“Go on.”

 

“It runs through a clearing not far from here. I’ll show you.” He rolls his eyes at the monster’s feeble attempt to stay alive.

 

“How about you just tell me? Go on.”

 

“Three day’s journey. Follow the stream. There’s a clearing. You’ll find your angel there.” He raises an eyebrow and turns to Benny. The burly vampire cocks an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth turning up in a half smile.

 

“You know what, mutt? I believe you.” He shoves his knife through the rugaru’s chin and turns back to Benny, leaving the mutt chained to the tree. He walks away, motioning for Benny to follow him.

 

_Hey Cas. Coming to get you. Stay where you are._

 

**_Day three hundred and thirteen_ **

****

_Hey Cas. I still don’t know if you can hear me or not, but we’re almost there. Just a few more hours. I really hope you can hear me, Cas. I meant what I said. We need to talk. Please be there when I get there._

 

“You alright, chief?” He turns and glances at the vampire, nodding his head slowly.

 

“Fine, why?” The vampire shrugs.

 

“You seem like you’re a million miles away. Not really a safe thing to do in Purgatory. Monster’ll jump you ‘fore you can even take a breath.” Dean nods at the warning, pushing Cas from his mind and concentrating on following the stream.

 

**_Day three hundred and fourteen_ **

****

There he is. Dean can’t believe it. His angel, safe and _alive_. It’s more than he’d ever let himself dare to hope for. He barely keeps his voice from cracking.

 

“Cas!” He watches as the angel’s posture straightens and he looks warily across the stream.

 

“Dean.” He stands slowly, looking away from Dean and then towards him, his eyes slowly focusing on the hunter. Dean grins, laughing and walking over to the angel, hugging him tightly. His heart doesn’t fall a little when Cas doesn’t hug back. It _doesn’t_.

 

“Damn, it’s good to see you. Nice peach fuzz.” He brushes his hand against the hairs on Cas’ face, ignoring the tingle in his skin when it brushes against Cas’ face.

 

“Thank you.” Dean steps a few feet back, eyes flickering to Benny.

 

“You should meet somebody. This is Benny. Benny, this is Cas.” Benny nods at the angel.

 

“Hola.” Cas glances at the vampire with wary eyes.

 

“How did you find me?” Dean grimaces slightly.

 

“The bloody way. You feeling okay?” Cas glances around.

 

“You mean am I still…” He makes a motion to indicate crazy, and Dean chuckles.

“Yeah, if you wanna be on the nose about it, sure.” Cas shakes his head.

 

“No. I’m perfectly sane. But, then, ninety four percent of psychotics think they’re perfectly sane, so I guess we’d have to ask ourselves, “What is sane?”” Dean nods, looking Cas over slowly.

 

“That’s a good question.”

 

“Why’d you bail on Dean?” Dean glances at the vampire, startled by his outburst.

 

“Dude-” Benny ignores him, continuing.

 

“The way I hear it, you two hit monster land, and hot wings here took off. I figure he owes you some backstory.” Dean rolls his eyes.

 

“Look, we were surrounded, okay? Some freak jumped Cas. Obviously, he kicked its ass, right?” Cas stares at him for a moment, his eyes dropping to a spot just over Dean’s shoulder.

 

“No.” Dean furrows his eyebrows.

 

“What?”

 

“I ran away.” Dean clenches his jaw.

 

“You ran away?” Cas visibly flinches, nodding slightly.

 

“I had to.” Dean clenches his jaw more, letting out a breath.  
  
“That’s your excuse for leaving me with those gorilla-wolves?”

 

“Dean-”

 

“You bailed out and, what, went camping? I prayed to you, Cas. _Every_ night.” Cas averts his eyes, and Dean recognizes a look of shame passing across the angel’s face. Good.

 

“I know.” He pauses at that. He knows. He _knows_. Cas heard his prayers and _ignored_ him. His desperate prayers for help, his even more desperate prayers begging Cas to come back to him.

 

“You know, and you didn’t… What the _hell’s_ wrong with you?”

 

“I am an angel in a land of abominations. There have been things hunting me from the moment we arrived.” Things hunting _him_. He almost laughs at the absurdity of it.

 

“Join the fucking club, Cas!” Cas glares at him.

 

“These are not just monsters, Dean. They’re Leviathan. I have a price on my head, and I’ve been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to…” Cas pauses, glancing at Benny and dropping his voice. “To keep them away from you. That’s why I ran.” Benny barely suppresses a chuckle, shaking his head.

 

**_Day three hundred and forty_ **

 

Benny grips Dean’s arm, tugging him aside roughly and keeping his voice low.

 

“You two need to work out whatever the fuck it is goin on between you two. Kiss and make up already.” He watches a blush spread across the human’s face, rolling his eyes. “C’mon, chief, I’m not an idiot. I see the way you look at him. You’ve been here nearly a year and you prayed to him the entire time he was missing. Just man up and fix it. It’s getting ridiculous.” The angel glances at them warily, looking around. Dean sighs softly and nods. He should’ve known Benny could see right through him. They may not know each other well, but they’ve had each other’s backs for the better part of a year and they’ve gotten to know the other well enough. He glances over at Cas, stepping towards him when Benny drops his arm.

 

“Hey, uh, Cas? Can we talk?” The angel glances at him and nods. He swallows, averting his eyes from Castiel’s. “So um… You heard my prayers, then? All of them?” Castiel nods slowly.

 

“Yes. All of them. But if it’s not something you want to discuss-”

 

“No, Cas, that’s just it. I do. I… I think I’ve known for a while. And it’s not the guy thing that bothers me. Well, I mean, it kind of is, no one knows I’m into dudes, but… Hunters don’t get a happily ever after, man. Ever. There is no ‘out of this life’. I tried that already. Hunting is in my blood, and it’s gonna get me killed. I know that. But, I…” He scrubs his hands over his face, taking a breath. “I need you, Cas. Please.” He watches Cas swallow, waiting nervously.

 

“Dean…” His body tenses, and he nods, turning away from Castiel.

 

“No, it’s fine. Forget I said anything. C’mon, we shouldn’t stay in one place too long.”

 

~                      ~                      ~

 

Castiel doesn’t make it out of Purgatory with them. Dean doesn’t understand why, but can only imagine it’s because of what he said to Castiel. He wishes he could take those words back and shove the feelings back down where they were to begin with. And now Cas is… is dead, or stuck in Purgatory, and there’s not a damn thing Dean can do about it.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr [here(:](https://fangirlingtodeath513.tumblr.com/)
> 
> PLEASE DO NOT POST MY WORKS ANYWHERE BUT HERE OR TUMBLR WITHOUT MY EXPRESS PERMISSION.


End file.
